Murder of a Music Mogul! The Finale
Whodunnit Events Present...
Murder of a Music Mogul! The Finale
Private Detective Jack Diamond draws the Music Mogul case to a close with a final flourish of evidence and confessions from the suspects.
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JACK: Tonight, my band of brilliant Nancy Drew’s and clever Columbo’s, we’re going to solve this crime caper.
The pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. We asked you whodunnit? Why? How? Some of you put two and two together and got four. Others, like me, got twenty-two!
Suspects, this is Detective Jack Diamond calling, are you there?
TABBY: Yes, I’m here, Jack! I’m feline excited, I hope we cat-ch the purr-petrator!
JEEVES: I’m here as requested, Detective, ready and willing to bring this matter to a swift conclusion as I hear that the band Decapitated Slug Army are really going to represent in tonight’s episode of Death Metal Idol!
ADRIANA: I’m here Detective Diamond, tick tock tick tock! What you waiting for?
JACK: We won’t be waiting for long. Here, in my hand, is an envelope containing the fingerprint analysis from Ryan Lowell’s gun which we now know was turned on Lowell and fired by his assailant. The lab was able to lift a fingerprint belonging to someone other than Lowell from the trigger; one of you three as a matter of fact.
Which suspect will confess to the murder of music mogul, Ryan Lowell?
TABBY: I lied, okay? I wasn’t fired from CATS for fur-getting my lines. It was for thieving. I can’t help myself. I am attracted to shiny things. When my cravings are at their worst, I dress all in black, scale the sides of buildings, sneak in via open windows and steal whatever shiny items I can get my paws on.
I’ve always seen Ryan’s Grammy award as being the miaowst-have shiny object for my collection, but I’ve always resisted – until recently, when Ryan started finding faults in my work. I realised that I wouldn’t be Ryan’s PA fur-ever. I sprang Ryan’s safe by entering a series of six-digit codes; all the important dates in his life which I knew like the back of my paw. Easy enough for a professional cat burglar! The Grammy was mine along with £50,000 for the cat sanctuary.
When I took Ryan his glass of milk at 3pm the following day, he couldn’t have been more… vicious. He knew, somehow, that I had stolen his award and his money, and he demanded their return. When I claimed I was innocent, he fired me on the spot and said he would re-draft his Will to remove the cat sanctuary as a beneficiary. Ryan was dead before he got the chance.
I sensed Jack was onto me, so I tried to frame Jeeves for the Grammy theft. I claimed to have found it in the Grandfather clock where Jeeves can often be found. I also tried to throw Jack off my scent, by appearing to be helpful one day then breaking into his home in my masked disguise the next.
Things just got out of paw but I didn’t miaow-rder my purr-fect Ryan!
JEEVES: That’s just claw-ful – I mean, awful, Tabby! Though you aren’t the only suspect with a lie… or two to disclose. My secret is rather worse, I’m afraid. I murdered Ryan Lowell. Without meaning to. Let me explain.
I delivered Ryan’s cocktail at 5pm. I returned to the kitchen where I noticed the gardener’s shopping list lying on the worktop. Adriana had been looking over it immediately before I made the Negroni. The prices which Doug had handwritten looked extremely odd and I sensed it was a code of some kind. A secret love note perhaps?
I thought of it as a fun puzzle to solve before dinner. The prices were clearly years – 1978, 2010, 2004 – but what did they refer to? I knew that Doug was obsessed with Eurovision, could it have something to do with that? Singers names perhaps? Names of countries which had won? Cities which had hosted Eurovision in those years? I did a quick Google search on my phone and noted down their names. To my utter astonishment, the first letters of those cities began to spell out a word; a word which gave me an unpleasant jolt and chilled me to the bone.
1978 - Paris.
2016 - Stockholm.
2010 - Oslo.
1965 - Naples.
Poison... I continued in mounting dread for what letters might come next.
2004 – Istanbul.
1965 – Naples.
1985 – Gothenberg.
2004 – Istanbul.
1965 – Naples.
My stomach was doing somersaults. I realised that I had just mixed gin into Ryan’s cocktail while Adriana had dictated the exact measurements – I had to run and tell him. Suddenly a gunshot rang out, then a few moments later, another. I knew then that it was too late. I knew then that I couldn’t admit that I had made the cocktail which poisoned Ryan Lowell.
ADRIANA: Well done Jeeves, Tabby – the cat’s out of the bag now!
But don’t try to steal the limelight from this pop diva. I visited Ryan’s study at 5.15pm and saw that Ryan wasn’t dead as he should have been after drinking the poisoned gin in his Negroni cocktail, though symptoms were starting to show.
I topped up his Negroni with more gin from my little bottle as stealthily as I could and served it to him. Ryan took one last gulp of his cocktail before he doubled over in pain and smashed the glass by his desk.
Oops, I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent!
Ryan was finally onto me. He grabbed his gun from his study drawer and fired in my direction. He missed, smashing the window behind him. Ryan slumped over his desk, and that was that.
I tossed the bottle out of the window.
I then staged Ryan’s suicide by firing a shot into his right temple and leaving a suicide note on his desk. I had penned it myself earlier having meticulously copied his handwriting.
The note was simply to deflect attention from myself. After all, it was unsigned, and when questioned about it, I was prepared to reject it. That part was the gardener’s idea. Better the devil you know.
You see, Doug Rowlands and I are madly in love. Doug was there for me when Ryan and I were drifting apart both personally and professionally after my last tour, though Ryan refused to let me go. Ryan had ruined Doug’s career and humiliated him by hiring him to be his gardener. Murder, we felt, was our only way out.
Doug left a coded shopping list for me so that I’d know when he’d laced the gin with cyanide. After that I became a Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est.
My darling Doug and I plan to hit the road and reinvent ourselves as the Bonnie and Clyde of pop and the police better keep a two-metre distance from us at all times!
So this is Adriana signing off my little buttercups. Ttyl!
JACK: Miss Venti and Mr Rowlands won’t make it far while we remain under lockdown. Fate will stick out a foot to trip them.
TABBY: Adriana Venti ought to be whipped with a Cat-O-Nine-tails! Well after all that drama, what is next for Tabby Bobtail? Prison I expect. I’m not worried. A cat always lands on its feet after all! Mark my words fur-ends, I will try to be more jellicle from now on. Catty-bye for now! Catty-bye!
JEEVES: This has got my creative juices flowing… I have an idea for a Death Metal song… it’ll be called…’Crazy Cat Lady’…here we go:
Crazy Cat Lady, I’ve got a bad feline about you!
Wild Feline Chick, I’m not kitting around, it’s true!
Crazy Cat Lady, on the hunt for shiny trinkets
Wild Feline Chick, be my fur-end, I’ll give you biscuits?
Wow, I’ve really got something here! This could be a hit!
JACK: My darling Madge, you once sang that music makes the people come together. In the case of Ryan Lowell, I’m not sure that’s true.
We did it gang, we cracked the case without leaving our homes. Thanks to everyone who joined the investigation, you all played your part superbly. Here’s to the beginning of a beautiful friendship – cheers!
For now, Madge and I are going to watch the end of our movie. The sparks are really starting to fly. It’s got sizzling scenes and red, hot action. It’s about two logs that meet their destiny. Let’s watch.
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Best wishes from the Whodunnit Team!